Today I went ahead and made my weight loss goal. I am 5’2″ and I currently weigh 190 pounds. I want to weigh around 125 pounds – that is a 65 pound weight loss.

That sounds crazy to hear, I think if you know me it might sound crazy to you that I feel like I need to lose that many pounds. Well, it is what it is. 125 pounds for someone my height is not going to be skin and bones. When I was in high school I weighed around 115 and I always thought that I was a little fat. I don’t ever remember being “happy” with my weight, with a crazy flip side that I don’t feel this fat. Right now, I do. I know I have gone overboard with my diet the last couple months and I feel the consequences. Which is why I am laying it down like this – after I just ate some ice cream…

I was supposed to start working out this month and I did the treadmill once. That was it, just once. Why – I don’t know. I just lack motivation so much that it feels like it cripples me.

I have to start making progress in the downward direction before I get too far gone. I hope to be able to post updates that are positive on here and not more sob stories. I may try to find a doctor to see if there is something that I might be qualified to take to help, but that will be secondary to actually working at it. If I don’t see results when I try then we will go that route because something might be wrong.