I don’t feel normal, I feel broken…

Here is the thing, I am a very structured person when it comes to work. I know exactly what I am doing, I have the answers, I get things done, and above all I am confident in what I do.

So, how am I broken? Well, in my personal life, which I barely have really, I am so detached from my other self. I won’t say opposite, but I am in the passenger seat for sure.

It confuses me and upsets me when I get angry or hurt by something emotionally and my mind is telling myself that this is not something to be worried about. I think most people do things like put themselves down in their mind and are basically held back by their own thoughts, I am not. I know exactly when something is not working and I feel a very strong emotional attachment to it that I can’t seem to break.

Incredibly frustrating. So, that is the struggles of 2016 it seems, to be more reserved emotionally. This is not just about a boyfriend either, this is friendships too. I get very attached to friends and am just as hurt if they do something great and don’t include me as I would a boyfriend. It makes no sense, and I know it

Alright, moving on. Indiana, that is where I am today and after a shorter session this morning and a very long drive yesterday we are at the hotel early. I am sitting in my room, watching it rain outside and waiting for a call this afternoon that I am supposed to be on. I think that I really only booked 1 flight today, but I feel like that is all I do anymore is book flights, rental cars, and hotels. It not bad or hard or anything it is just something I have to give a lot of attention to because we have a crazy schedule through the beginning of October.

I rented a Jeep Grand Cherokee and it is so nice. I had thought about getting one of those and then I changed my mind to a truck, mainly because they are so dang expensive, but they sure are nice!

Well, here is a picture from today. It is incredibly hard for me to take a selfie with my phone being so huge so they usually look like this – half of my face and tilted