Yep, thats’s right the gym is really paying off this fall!  I am down 20 pounds and a couple sizes since July this year.  Some of it has to do with a kickstart in my diet – thanks to not feeling great emotionally, but now things are starting to progress.  I am really trying to focus on good things right now and, obviously I will have bad days or bad portions of days, but I am trying to focus on exercise and getting my mind and body working for me instead of against me.

While working out you are supposed to have a rush of endorphins that make you feel good.  Well, to be honest, right now these workout spikes are actually just making me more emotional.  Which is great except that my state of mind is not very sunshiny lately.

Things will get better, I just have to keep working on it.  Keep focusing on moving forward.  Set goals, achieve!  I will certainly be working for no more wasted tears.  I never want to forget the pain I felt during this time because I don’t want to fall into it ever again.  Time heals all wounds, but never let them heal without a scar.  You have to learn a lesson from every bad experience – if you don’t, you have failed that lesson completely and will be forced to repeat it.  I have failed this lesson a couple times now and I am not a failure so guess this is it.  I don’t want to have memories of this time except what is needed to make sure I don’t repeat it!

I wish it could be -20 pounds of weight off of my heart and soul and not just fat off of my body…